I had such high hopes for Dishonored, well, no, but I had hopes at least. I would have had higher hopes if it’d been third person but it seems it fell victim to the same idea as Fallout 3: first person is more immersive.

I can’t say I agree. Instead of getting into the game world I felt I had to constantly be checking my surroundings manually to be sure there weren’t any pesky guards around. At least in third person I can get a broader view that gives me a sense of my surroundings. Playing first person is like wearing a helmet that drastically restricts view, almost like Knightmare…

But perspective aside there was a feeling that it should have been a much better game. Its world certainly appealed, although the idea of powering everything with whale oil just seemed unfeasible to me, given the volume of gizmos and the fact that whales have to be caught individually.

Oh well, there’s always magic. Wait, what now?


Yes, in Dishonored there’s magic. I didn’t quite follow who or what “The Outsider” was supposed to be but the game world kept right on going. Obviously there’s some secret religion or something, you’re fine with that, right? It makes sense?

Still not getting it.

Fortunately the plot is irrelevant and uninteresting. Well, no, not fortunately at all, actually it’s tragic. The plot twists in really predictable ways, the textures are low resolution crap wrapped over low poly models, the puzzles have about two solutions and, well, there’s the morality system.

One’s actions in game are perceived as either “low chaos” or “high chaos”. Barely touch anyone and there’s the good ending waiting, actually play the game and use the bits that make it fun and the bad ending is the result. There’s barely any difference throughout the game anyway but I still don’t understand who in their right mind felt this was a sensible design decision.

I would posit that many, if not most, want the good ending. The game has lots of fun mechanics for killing people and wreaking havoc. Using them essentially punishes the player.


Oh well, it’s still more choices than one gets in Assassin’s Creed 3. Bland action in a dull setting with uninteresting characters. Everyone is a bit of a bastard and the Brits are double bastards (which is now a thing).

The exception to this would be the homestead where everything is so perfect as to have its own perfect flag. I’m not kidding, there’s really a flag.


For all I know it could be a real flag, I don’t recognise it and perhaps my ignorance is showing. The missions on the homestead unlock various crafting abilities which would be great at the start of the game but are mostly superfluous, more so at the end.

Dishonored’s moral choice system is perfectly reasonable compared to AC3’s crafting system however. The interface is only marginally more user-friendly than British copyright law and it truly beggars belief that nothing better could be built.

As a result I tried crafting some things but ultimately gave up in frustration.

Other comments on the game have centred around the tutorial mechanics, which, to be frank, never go away. Perhaps in the final section of the game? Maybe?

Essentially it felt like the game expected me to not be able to remember how to play it most of the time. Other times though I was faced with bizarre instructions lacking in any real explanation. Huzzah.

What can I say that’s positive about the game… The Desmond parts were fun, I guess? Shaun is still funny?

As Assassin’s Creed games go it’s the worst I’ve ever played. Admittedly I started playing at AC2 so perhaps it’s better than the original but really, ugh, skip it.

Instead play something that’s actually good, like Faster Than Light.


It’s a quirky little game that I’ve been having some fun with. Each game can be quick or can endure for hours, depending on luck, careful choices, and personal attitude.

I tend to fight nearly every enemy I come across and eventually it gets me killed but I have fun while doing it which is rather the point!

I find myself longing for Startopia whilst playing it, probably because I give my ship a silly moniker and tend to give crew names like “Clive”. It’s whimsical, fun, and cheap.

Play that instead. It might not last as long as the other two games but it costs a fraction as much and is actually fun.

Remember fun?

That’s what videogames are primarily for, lest we forget.

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