Reading some comments from Dr. Narayana Reddy on a BBC news story on attitudes towards BDSM in India really disturbed me.

He singles out BDSM edge play as if that is the only element of the concepts and culture and then claims that if such things are required for arousal then “(he) would term it sexually problematic behaviour.”

Lovely.

I bet he’s enjoying how popular Fifty Shades of Grey is in India.

It annoys me no end to see this sort of thing. Edge play can certainly be scary, but that’s rather the point. Much of BDSM involves nothing of the sort. Lots of it is power exchange and subversion of traditional roles and rules. So for example under normal circumstances it is not socially acceptable to slap another person – in BDSM the dominant can do so whenever they choose to. This assumes of course that the submissive has agreed before hand.

Initially, someone might try it for its novelty, but with time that can run off and it can leave deep scars, both physically and emotionally.
-Dr Narayana Reddy

Really?

I would argue quite the opposite for one fundamental reason.

Communication.

For good BDSM play good communication is vital. Those involved need to talk to each other, outline what they want, what their expectations are, what they’re comfortable with and where their limits are.

Some normal couples may well discuss this but it is not particularly common to have that kind of open, frank dialogue.

Being able to talk about these things really helps build a much better relationship.

Actually, make that two reasons.

Trust.

Without trust a BDSM relationship cannot exist. Partners need to be confident they can trust each other on a very deep level, much more so than many vanilla relationships manage.

But hey, they’re deviant scum, right?

1 response to "No BDSM please, we’re Indian."

  1. In India, people can commit rapes and roam free, but bdsm with mutual consent is considered immoral. What people don't realise is that it is not just sex, but lifestyle. We Indians are such hypocrites that we are prudish outside but sex is always on top of everyone's mind.

    Anonymous

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