Once again I'm back down in Wales.

I'd hoped I wouldn't be alone this time, but sadly it wasn't to be. Perhaps next time scheduling will be more fortunate. Exams, flat movings and work commitments conspired against me, as they always do. I'm very fortunate in most respects, but no one can win every time.

I arrived to an empty station, as per usual. I was tired and hungry, so this made me feel pretty low - I like to be met on the station by someone, especially after a long journey. Not for any deep philosophical reason; simply because it lifts my spirits to see a friendly face waiting for me. There were no taxis in the taxi rank outside, so I went for a wander through town, walking past an old school mate at one point. I'm fairly sure he didn't recognise me. It was nice to be invisible for once.

The greeting was much warmer once I got onto the estate, both in human and dog form (no, the ducks will have to wait for daylight). I discovered that during some tidying someone had found my favourite beanie. My flame beanie! I thought I'd lost it forever. I wub my flame beanie. *gets all defensive*

It's weird wandering around the house now that my parents are asleep - I know where everything is on one level, but on a more present level it feels different. It's an odd feeling, as this is technically my home, but it almost feels like I'm a guest in someone else's home. My flat in Edinburgh is my home now, my close friends - my family. I already miss it a bit.
I'd miss it a lot if I hadn't been conditioned to not get homesick, but it's still there as a minor thing at the back of my mind. The loneliness doesn't help.

In Edinburgh I'm rarely alone, there's always people around and I know a lot of them. Here I know barely anyone. I know my parents and our core staff. Other than that, I know no one. Most of my friends in Carmarthen aren't here any more, our lower level staff change on a quarterly basis. It's kinda odd, being a stranger in your own home.

I love my parents, but I don't feel much need to be with them. We've been apart for so long. I mainly come home for their sake, I know my mother misses me a lot and my father does when he has time, although I doubt he'd ever admit it seriously.

Oh yeah, I'll be back on the 30th - don't you dare all rush out and see all the films I want to see - I don't want to watch them on my own, you bastards..
See you in ten days.

0 responses to "Home. Or?"

Leave a Reply